BDSM is now thought to be synonymous with Fifty Shades of Grey, but what does BDSM even mean. This acronym, along with S&M, is shrouded in a lot of dark and sexy mystery for some. But it’s not all that complicated. We all kind of know what these things are (kinky sex right? Bondage and all that?) but there’s a little more to the world of BDSM and S&M that goes undiscussed by raunchy movies and Rihanna songs.
In this article I’m going to break down the basics of these acronyms for you! You might ask: What authority does she have on the subject? Well, to answer that question I’m a real-live Dominatrix… so I have plenty authority to spare (wink, wink) especially when it comes to BDSM. Alright, allow me to break down the basics of BDSM for you:
B is for bondage:
Bondage refers to anyway you might be restrained in a sexual scene. Some pretty common tools used for bondage are handcuffs and rope. But the possibilities don’t end there! Doms and subs alike get very creative with restraints. Some people might use zipties, plastic wrap, duct tape, rubber bands, or clothing as a means to bind!
When practicing bondage, you need to be aware of the risks that are associated with being tied up. Make sure that you aren’t cutting off blood flow to any part of a person and if you (as a submissive) start to feel faint or tingly in any of your appendages, use your safe word and have the person tying you up adjust the restraints.
D is for discipline and dominance:
Discipline refers to what goes into training the behavior of a submissive! Discipline ranges from scolding to corporal punishment and everything in-between! Before a scene express what kinds of discipline you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with. For instance, you might be okay with spanking but not being insulted.
Dominance refers to the power exchange that exists between partners engaging in this fetish. Usually there is a clear dominant and submissive in these kinds of sexual scenarios. There are varying levels of dominance depending on how you choose to play and how many people involved.
S is for sadism and submission:
Sadism is when someone gets joy (or in this case sexual pleasure/arousal) from inflicting pain on others. This is something that a lot of people practice in BDSM but isn’t necessary for showing one’s dominance over another.
Submission refers to the submissive position one partner will take in relation to another. The submissive likely considers themselves to be in service to the dominant.
M is for masochism:
Masochism refers to the joy (or in this case sexual pleasure/arousal) from feeling physical pain.
There are also a few other acronyms you need to know if you plan on incorporating BDSM into your sex life. These are SSC and RACK
Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC)
Another important acronym used by the BDSM community is SSC which stands for Safe Sane and Consensual. All things in a BDSM scenario should be safe meaning no unnecessary risks are taken with one’s safety and no one is being careless, sane meaning no one should lose their head while playing, and consensual meaning everything that occurs happens with the informed consent of all parties.
Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK for short)
This is another important acronym which reminds BDSM players to always be aware of the risks they’re taking and make sure everything happens with the consent of the people involved. And if you’re looking for a new BDSM sex partner, head over to Kinky Sex Dates.